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Harker Heights Evening Star
Harker Heights Evening Star

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Sue Ellen

Sue Ellen

Dear Sue Ellen,

I always thought we were good parents, but maybe I was wrong.  My son just got sentenced to 5 years in prison for a drug related charge.  He was a good boy growing up.  We thought he was in college, but in fact he had dropped out months ago. We have 2 other children that have never given us a moment of trouble.  Why would this happen to us?

Pam

Dear Pam,

This must be extremely painful for you and your family.  It may be a time when you will learn who your true friends are.  This is also a time when your family could get stronger or grow apart.  What you do at this point in your life will impact your future and the future of your family.  Take time to mull things over.

We have a window of opportunity to teach our kids to make good choices and strive to be good people.  At some point, however, our kids make those decisions themselves.  Is there a magic age when this transformation occurs?  I can only guess.  All kids are different; parents too.  Some of us parents cling too long or let go too soon.  Some kids grow up in horrific conditions and turn out to be heroes.  Other kids, like your son have a loving home life growing up and turn out to be scoundrels and thieves…go figure.

Sadly, I don’t have an answer to the “why” of your question.  It is a mystery to me, so all I can do is offer you some encouragement.  The decisions your son made that landed him in prison were his.  You don’t own that.  He has done a lot of damage to you, your family and himself, but he is still your son.  In time, forgiveness will need to come.  Meanwhile, don’t beat yourself up, or blame your husband for not doing this or not doing that regarding your son.  That kind of talk is hurtful and non-productive.  It’s time to move forward.  Who knows….in some strange and miraculous way, this may be a wake-up call for your son.  It’s not too late for him to turn his life around.  Don’t give up on him and don’t forget to love your husband and your other family members.  You are all hurting.  When bad things would happen, my mother used to always say, “this too shall pass”.

Please email your parenting questions to sejackson@awarecentraltexas.org and put “Parent’s Corner” in the Subject line.

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