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Harker Heights Evening Star
Harker Heights Evening Star

Take the “No Complaining” Challenge

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Aya Fubara Eneli

What if one decision could change your life and impact your entire community for good? It really is possible and I am encouraging you to a take the 30 day No Complaining Challenge with me.

Think about it. How often do you hear yourself complaining? “The sun is too hot.” “The rain is ruining your plans?” “Your children are getting on your last nerves.” “Your supervisor is dumb as a door knob.” “You can’t lose weight because your whole family is big-boned.” And so on and so on. How often do you hear others complaining as well? How does it make you feel to hear people complaining?

Imagine a world in which we stopped complaining, pointing fingers and assigning blame and each person began to take 100% responsibility for their lives. Imagine if we focused on thinking and speaking positively whenever possible. How would our personal and professional relationships change if we built people up rather than complain about them?

To complain is to “express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event without offering a possible solution to fix the problem.” Synonyms of complain include: grumble, whine, bleat, carp, cavil, grouse, make a fuss; object, speak out, criticize, find fault, gossip, kick up a fuss, raise a stink, bellyache, moan, snivel, beef, sound off, gripe, kvetch. Not very pleasant words, you will agree.

We pay a hefty price as individuals and as a society when we complain. Complaining creates and enlarges disagreements. It breeds bad feelings. Complaining breeds defensiveness and disrupts effective communication. Complaining robs us of the power to bring about change as we blame others and ignore solutions. Complaining steals our joy and peace. Have you ever noticed that the more you complain, the more foul your temperament? Complaining keeps us in a negative psychological state and affects our productivity. Complaining isolates, us.

So, what is a complaint for the purposes of this challenge? A complaint is a statement of dissatisfaction designed to make yourself and/or others feel bad with no focus on positive change. For instance, “This job is challenging, however, I think more training on interpersonal skills will turn it around quickly.” Is a constructive statement. On the other hand, “This job would be great if I didn’t have to deal with my co-workers.” is a complaint.

I often tell my children when they start complaining and whining about a situation, that our focus should always be on problem-solving and not on just pointing out problems. Anyone can be a critic, but it takes discipline of thought and action to be a problem solver. And as with everything, the more intentional we become about not complaining, the more positive our though life will be. Since thoughts lead to words, which lead to actions, which shape our behavior, which result in our habits and ultimately determine our destiny, learning not to complain is a great discipline to employ right now.

Take The Challenge with me!

It’s fairly simple. No Complaining, Blaming or Justifying for 30 straight days.

If you catch yourself complaining, you have to start over at Day 1.

Get a friend to be your accountability partner to help you through the rough spots.

Brainstorm systems to keep you from complaining and to remind yourself of your commitment. You may choose to journal or start training yourself to write solutions to your challenges or to look for the good in every situation. Pay attention and keep track of how often you have to stop yourself from complaining and how this challenge impacts you and those around you.

Email me and share the highs and lows of your 30 Day “No Complaining” Challenge. Embrace the good that this will bring into your life and the influence you will have others. Who is in?

Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower and equip people to live up to their highest potential. She and her husband live in Central Texas with their five miraculous children. For more information, visit www.ayaeneli.com or e-mail her at info@ayaeneli.com.

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