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Harker Heights Evening Star
Harker Heights Evening Star

Pursue Self Control

Pursue Self Control

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Aya Fubara Eneli, M.A., J.D. AYA ENELI

“We are slaves to whatever has mastered us.”
Dear friend, what has mastered you? If you are like so many of the masses, you may just stop reading here because the mental effort it will require to even begin to figure out all that currently enslaves you is much more than you are willing to expend. You may be so emotionally bankrupt that the mere thought of facing the sorry truths of your existence might be more than you think you can bear. Alas, ignorance is no bliss at all. Ignoring the facts of your life do not make the facts any less relevant, nor their consequences any less painful.
Take an inventory of your life, are there issues that keep coming up over and over again or recurring negative themes? Negativity, despair, food, drugs, sex, alcohol, gossip, loneliness, failure, doubt, love, hate, anger, illiteracy, poor health, laziness, lack of wisdom, money, debt, tradition, racism, secrets, low self-esteem, fear, bitterness, pride, relationships, pornography, your job, unforgiveness?
Leonardo da Vinci stated and I concur, “You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. …And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.”
Repeatedly, the Bible advises us to master ourselves and be self-controlled. “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32) “Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled…” (1 Timothy 3:2) “Live self-controlled lives…” (Titus 2:12)
Self –control is essential to growth in every area of our lives and is crucial if we want to maintain our physical freedom. Mastery is defined as having consummate skill, knowledge and technique that enables one to have superiority over a thing or person, to be a victor and impose restraint or influence. To be self-controlled means that a person can stop and assess a situation and respond instead of react.
Take an honest assessment of your life and determine what is restraining or controlling you. What has you enslaved? From your list, identify what you want to master first. Is it your health, debt, your negative thinking, your loneliness, biases, promiscuity, disorganization?
Commit to reading at least two books a month on the area in which you want to gain mastery and fulfill your commitment to yourself no matter what. Do you know that if you choose any topic and read a book a month on it, in 5 years you will be in the top 5% of experts on that topic? If debt currently has mastery over you and has you enslaved, what do you think will happen in your life as you systematically educate and arm yourself with everything you can on finances, making money, eliminating debt, and investing for just 12 months? I guarantee that if you will apply even 20% of what you read, you will surely break the negative hold money has over you.
The same is true for every other aspect of your life. Are you overcome by fear? Too afraid to be yourself and live your life? Read everything you can on faith and put into practice what you read. Are you overcome with lust and sexually immoral thoughts, immerse yourself in books on purity and holiness and begin to feel the chains break apart.
This is just one of many steps you can take to begin to exercise mastery over your thoughts, emotions, and every aspect of your life. Another habit to incorporate into your life to improve your ability to control yourself is to get around others who are also in pursuit of self-mastery and together you can create an empowering environment for change and freedom.
Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower and equip people to live up to their highest potential. Follow her on Twitter @Ayaeneli, on Facebook at or e-mail her at


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