Sue Ellen

Dear Sue Ellen,

“I had a baby 3 months ago.  Everyone told me I would feel love for my new baby. I thought I would be so happy to have a baby, but all I am feeling is tired and sad.  I am afraid I won’t love my baby.   What is wrong with me?”

New Mom

Dear New Mom,

Having a baby is never what we expect it to be.  Sometimes it is better….sometimes not.  In my case when I had my first baby, I totally thought it was the same as when I played dolls as a little girl.   When it was time to stop playing I would put my dolly in her baby bed and go outside to play, or eat dinner, or watch Bonanza on our black & white TV.  My dolly would wait patiently for me to return and never cry or need anything.  So when I had my first baby I was shocked the first time I laid him in his crib, thinking he would go to sleep, but instead he protested loudly.  I called the pediatrician every day.  I am sure his office hated me.

Being a parent will be the best and worst experience of your life.  Take a deep breath and don’t beat yourself up for not meeting your own expectations.  It is different for all of us.  There is a thing called post-partum depression, but I think another description for the “new mommy blues” is exhaustion and unrealistic expectations.  Of course, you are very emotional and sleep-deprived right now.  Be kind to yourself and everyone around you.  If you need a break from your baby to get some rest, ask someone you trust to babysit for a couple of hours.  An amazing thing about babies is their ability to love unconditionally.  Your little baby life depends on you.  Make sure you are taking care of both of you.

Please email your parenting questions to sejackson@awarecentraltexas.org and put “Parent’s Corner” in the Subject line.