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Get to the Source

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Aya Fubara Eneli

Have you ever walked into a beautiful room only to be slapped by an unpleasant odor? I recall a time when I fried some chicken for my children. Frying chicken is not something I do often, but I did so this time because I had to make dinner in a hurry for them and I didn’t have enough time to bake the chicken like I normally would.

Well, long after dinner was over, the fried chicken smell persisted and it was beginning to really get to me. So, I cleaned up the dishes, took out the trash and plugged in my trusted Scentsy. Hours later, much to my chagrin, that fried chicken smell was still assaulting my nostrils. How was that possible? As I surveyed the kitchen for a possible explanation, I noticed that in my haste to clean up, I had merely moved the pan with the oil used in frying the chicken to a corner of the counter and forgotten it there. No amount of cleaning or fragrance was going to get rid of what now seemed like a stench. Why? Because while I had done everything to get rid of the smell, the one things I hadn’t done was the most important. I did not address the actual source of the smell.

As I finally got rid of the putrid oil and washed out the pan, I couldn’t help but reflect on how often I see similar scenarios played out in life. I coach many executives who are seemingly at a loss for some of the results they are seeing in their lives, but on a closer look, they realize they had never gotten to the source of the challenges they were facing.

When I worked in the State Attorney’s office, I would often meet with domestic violence victims who couldn’t understand why their relationships often turned abusive. Time after time, a woman would get  rid of a bad romantic relationship, but would neglect to address that there are things within that caused them to be attracted to that person in the first place, so they just go from one bad relationship to another, the abuse mounts and their self-esteem plummets and nothing ever improves for them.

Perhaps you know someone who repeatedly finds themselves in the same situation. They’ve changed addresses, changed jobs, switched churches, swapped out friends and yet the same issues keep showing up over and over again and they can’t seem to figure out why. Is it time for you to notice the pan with smelling oil hiding in plain view in the corner of your kitchen? Is now a good time for you to courageously address the real source of the things stealing joy, health, wealth, contentment in your life?

It’s easy to sweep things under the rug. It takes courage to feel and understand your pain and to act. Many choose to put on a brave face and ‘move on”, but any unresolved issues or trauma in your life will always linger and wreak havoc for you. Be courageous. Face and resolve your pain.

Take an honest and comprehensive look at your life. You owe it to yourself.

Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian Life Coach, Motivational Speakerand Attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower and equip people to live up to their highest potential. She and her husband live in Central Texas with their five miraculous children. For more information, visit, follow her on twitter @ayaeneli or e-mail her at


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