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Harker Heights Evening Star
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Sue Ellen Jackson

Parents Corner


Dear Sue Ellen,

My boyfriend and I got into a fight the other night.  We were yelling and screaming and he hit me.  The neighbors called the cops and they came and arrested him.  We were both real mad and I showed the cops where he hit me.  My boyfriend is telling me now how sorry he is and that I should forgive him.  He promises he’ll never lay a hand on me again.  I think I am going to drop the charges.  I want to be a good person and I think I should forgive him.  Don’t you agree?


Dear Chantelle,

Yes, I agree.  Forgiveness is a good thing, but maybe forgetting isn’t.

There was a man fishing on a lake when a snake approached him and asked the man if he would please carry him to the other side.  The man told him no because he was a snake and would bite.  The snake assured the man he would NEVER bite him so the man agreed to take him to the other side of the lake.  About midway over the snake bit the man.  The man asked the snake why and the snake said, “because I am a snake you dummy.”

What the man should have done when the snake asked him for a ride is say, “NO!  I don’t hold a grudge against you for being a snake, but I will not give you the chance to bite me.”

I am not saying your boyfriend is a snake, but I am saying he is a hitter.  Hitting, punch-ing, threatening, pushing and any other form of hatefulness or abuse is not love.  I have NEVER heard of someone hitting only once.  Some people hit when they are mad.  Some people hit when they want to take control.  Who really knows all the rea-sons why people hit?  Do we need to forgive hitters?  Yes!  Should we put ourselves in harm’s way of a hitter?  NO!  Forgiving him means you don’t hold a grudge or bitter-ness toward him, it isn’t an invitation to do more of the same.

Best thing you can do is see if the man fishing at the lake would be willing to take your boyfriend to the other side and dump him.  There are plenty more (not-abusive) fish in the sea…don’t forget that.

Please email your parenting comments to and put “Parent’s Corner” in the Subject line.


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