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Harker Heights Evening Star
Harker Heights Evening Star

Choke hold

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Sue Ellen Jackson

Parents Corner


Dear Sue Ellen,

My old man got mad and put me in a choke hold the other night.  I tried to get loose from him but it made him madder.  His brother ended up pulling him off me.  If I call the cops he would lose his job if he went to jail. He bruised me up pretty good.  How can I make him stop getting mad like that?


Dear Worried,

Your old man has a problem.  It is never ever okay to choke someone.  He is abusive and you should consider getting away from him.   You are his victim.  I’m guessing you don’t want to hear that.

What does an abusive person act?  They can be very nice sometimes.  They hurt their victims and are sorry afterward. They may cry, send flowers and vow to never do it again.  That is a lie.  They may think they mean it but they don’t.

Abusers are looking to take their rage or sick fantasies out on someone else, so they look for a vulnerable partner.  Abuse can start out small and over time grow into something much more sinister.   It can be sexual, emotional, physical or all three.  Abusers may impose isolation.  They can use mind control, money control, and stalking on their victims.  Abusers might make violent threats if the victim doesn’t go along.  There is little they won’t do to fulfill their need to abuse while they methodically try to convince everyone around them that they are not monsters.

For anyone in a new relationship, please don’t ignore the warning signs, such as him/her being overly charming and attentive; controlling; showing anger quickly; monitoring your coming and going; questioning you when you talk to others; trying to keep you to himself/herself; blaming or criticizing you for little things.  Also, your friends may not like him/her.  If you are considering being in a relationship with someone like that, you need to end it immediately before it is too late.

One more thing.   Statistically, the third choke ends in death.  The next time your old man gets mad and puts his hands around your neck it may be the death of you.  PLEASE.  Be safe!

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