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Ask the Right Questions to Reap a Great Life

Ask the Right Questions to Reap a Great Life

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by: Aya Fubara Eneli, MA. JD

Growing up, I distinctly remember writing classes where I was implored to ask the five main questions of my text and thoroughly explore the answers. What? Where? Who? When How? They are all simple enough questions, and yet they can be transformative when used in the right way.

It has been said that the quality of our lives is a direct result of the quality of questions we ask and are courageous enough to seek answers to. I wholeheartedly agree. Far too many of us have been conditioned to accept life and world just as it is, to never ask the questions that can bring about real change, and to see ourselves as merely victims of circumstance.

Think about it this way. When was the last time you posed and answered these questions for yourself? Who am I?  Am I who I want to be? Who do I want to be? Who is with me? Who do I want with me? What do I want? What do I really, really want? What does it take for me to feel loved? What matters most to me? What paths have those I seek to emulate travelled? How am I living? How am I creating the life of my dreams? How did I get here? How can I get to where I want to be? How can I have more success, more joy, more peace, more love? Where am I headed? Where have I been? Where do I want to be? Where am I my best? When? When will I start? When will I stop? When will I believe, really believe? And while we are posing these questions, we may as well also ask why. Why are you here? Why were you created? Why do you the things you do? Why don’t you do the things that you choose to neglect?

I must admit, I am not as introspective as I would like to be. The times that I have gone into a deep questioning of my choices have always been preceded by something or someone literally knocking the wind out of my sails. In my comfort zone, in the past, I have been reticent to make myself think, choosing instead to float on the proverbial lazy river of life at the complete mercy of the elements and a course I didn’t choose.

One wake up call for me happened as I mourned the death of my unborn child. I was at work, but I was listless and unable to focus on the required tasks. As I looked around my office sitting in a position I had coveted and worked for, it all suddenly seemed so worthless. Is this all there’s going to be for my life? Is this what I’ll live for, getting feathers in my cap, plaques on the wall and shielding myself from the envious gazes of those who think they want my life? Surely, there had to be more than this. That day, I left work early, I sat in a secluded park and pondered my life. The questions came, then the tears, and then clarity. I made some significant life decisions that day that have shaped me for the better.

One of my favorite passages in Alice of Wonderland reads as follows:

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

I think many of us are like Alice. We are nice enough and yet completely clueless about who we are, what we want, which way to go and why. And as the Cat admonished, you can live that way, you’ll even get somewhere if you stay the course long enough, but you may not like where you end up.

Are you ready to ask and answer these questions for yourself? All great people perfect the art of questioning. Jesus asked and answered the right questions and that enabled him to live a life of significance, die meaningfully and transform the world. You can too!

Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower and equip people to live up to their highest potential. For more information or to book her for your next event, visit, or e-mail her at


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